April 30, 2022 3:30pmCourtney Kilgo

Did you know, 1 in 8 women are affected by infertility? About 10% of women (6.1 million) in the United States between the ages of 15-44 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

On top of that data, there's this stigma around the discussion of infertility. People who are trying their hardest to conceive can often feel alone or scared when it doesn't work because people who have also struggled feel they have to keep it under wraps.

#NationalInfertilityAwarenessWeek was created in hopes that those who have and are currently struggling would speak up and share their highs and lows to normalize the topic. So, as NIAW comes to a close, FIT4MOM McAllen member, Courtney Kilgo, is raising her voice and sharing her infertility journey for all to read.

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The following story is just a glimpse through our journey with infertility.

My husband and I had been married a little over a year and a half when we decided we were ready to start a family. We were both already in our mid/late 30s. I was a middle school coach/athletic coordinator and he was a college baseball coach, so our lives were already crazy hectic, why not add more craziness to the mix, right?!?

After months of no success, I made an appointment with my doctor because of my age, we were referred to a fertility specialist. After tests, a few procedures, and tests on my husband, we were diagnosed with ‘unexplained infertility,’ basically tests were inconclusive and there was no real reason why we couldn’t get pregnant.

After one failed Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) cycle, we decided to try that route one more time. We were too impatient to wait on the blood test results, so I took an at home pregnancy test, a day before my blood test. It was positive!!!! We were so excited. We told our parents and thought we were beginning our new journey. A day later, after the actual blood test, we were crushed with the news it was negative. Lesson learned, no more at home tests, at least early ones.

A couple of thousand dollars later, a few more months passed and we decided to start the Invitro Fertilization (IVF) process. More meds, more shots, more appointments, more labs, more bloodwork, more stress, more doubt, more fear, but also more hope. The first IVF cycle failed and we were so close to giving up. I was completely filled with anger, but also so determined to push on. After my Dr told me I had about a 35% chance of IVF working, we decided to try one last time. Our first treatment day was Father’s Day 2019 (couldn’t be any more perfect) and we had answered prayers from that day forward. After the retrieval and the transfer, I took my blood test two weeks later. Well, the results never came that day. I was anxious, my husband was anxious, our families were anxious, we were all a mess. My husband went to buy a pregnancy test but I told him I refused to take it. I said I would take it the next morning and hoping we would have the results by then, too. I woke up the next morning, did my progesterone shot like I did every morning, and got back in bed. My husband gave me a hard time because he knew I had to go to the bathroom and I was putting off the pregnancy test. He was exactly right. So I took the test and got back in bed. I just couldn’t stand around to see the results. He checked on the test a few seconds (which felt like hours) later and said “well, it’s working” and in my mind, I just knew it would be negative. He came running into the bedroom and yelled “We’re pregnant” and I lost it. A few minutes later, I got the blood test results from the doctor and it was positive. It was literally the best news ever.

So many women and couples struggle with infertility and I feel like so many are ashamed to talk about it. I was that person. I was embarrassed that my body wasn’t able to do one of it’s main purposes, reproduce and bring new life into this world. I was angry that we spent so much time and money on something and we just couldn’t get to the end result. So many other emotions, highs and lows. Anxiety that I wasn’t getting any younger and the window to reproduce seemed to be closing in on me. Time spent on my hands and knees, praying, crying, begging God to please let this be our time. I feel like God put certain people into my life at times when I really needed them, who could share their experiences with me, and we never gave up hope. This journey strengthened my relationship with God, and I needed that the most. Yes, there was some science involved, but I give God ALL of the credit.

To anyone struggling with infertility, I wish there was something I could do to take it all away.

17 months of infertility

157 shots

2 failed IUs

1 failed IVF

1 successful IVF

End result – our little miracle baby